Saturday, December 31, 2011

ChRIStMaS!!!!!

Wow it has been so long since I've blogged!!! Sorry to all who read this! So this Christmas was amazing!!! I can't believe how fun it's been Neal loved his gifts!! Made me so happy gosh he is amazing!! He got me a huge zebra blanket!! I sleep with it every night :) Ashley got me a zebra pillow pet :O I was so excited and she got me season 1 of supernatural :D I bought myself season 6 of supernatural and sims 3 pets!!! And to top off Christmas Neal's parents even got me a gift I was thrilled!!!!! :D I really like his family they all are so nice and so fun to be around!! Speaking of family mine has been at my house all week wow that is a cozy house!! But I love it!!! Three days after Christmas my family went sledding omg it was so fun!!!!!! I totally took out a fence!!! I was laughing so hard!!! Oh the adventures I have all together it was a great Christmas!!!! :D

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

SuPeR rAnDoM pOsT!!!

so i had this amazing idea for a blog earlier today but i totally forgot it... sad day lol... ahhhh three more days tell my family is here for Christmas!!!! eeekk i really miss my brothers living here sometimes and now is one of them i am trying to clean the house for Christmas by myself!! ugh so much scrubbing i don't see why we clean it though we just mess it up!! lol :P oh my goodness i cant stop getting stuff for Neal it is the funnest thing ever!!! i think he will like all of them!! i don't think he knows what im getting him but im not sure lol i hope not!! =P ahhh he is so amazing last night i realized that i need to stop being so afraid of getting hurt cuz he is not a d-bag like im used to he is so easy to be myself with im absolutely crazy about him!!! so im going to let my guard down more then i already have with him!! (and that is not so hard with him he makes it so easy) he is so great and doesn't even see it!! i am so lucky to have him in my  life!! ok im sorry about all the Neal posts lately but he is always on my mind and he honestly makes me so friggin happy!! and its my blog! =P!! on other samie news i have a cold that is kicking my but!!!! i have taken airborne and drank lots of orange juice (which i hate!!) so i hope it is gone by tomorrow =) well i should be cleaning and not blogging so im going to go clean now hope all is well with erry one else! peace out girl scout!

Saturday, December 17, 2011

CrIsTmAs WiTh YoU!!

Another year has passed us by
It was gone in a blink of an eye
We've got 15 bucks
Seems we're down on our luck
But who cares
You're with me tonight

This is our time now

When the fire burns out
And it's only me and you
Shimmery lights outside
They reflect your eyes
As you say "I love you too"
When the sun comes up
And the snow falls from the roof
I can smile because I spent my Christmas with you

All the shops are closed
Busy streets never felt more alone
Everyone around in this crazy-ass town
So ready to finally be home
So I'll sit by the fire
Watching re-runs and making you smile
Sharing cookies you burnt
You spilt milk on my shirt
That's okay
You're with me tonight

This is our time now
There's no need to worry 'cause

When the fire burns out
And it's only me and you
Shimmery lights outside
They reflect your eyes
As you say "I love you too"
When the sun comes up
And the snow falls from the roof
I can smile because I spent my Christmas with you

With you
Wanna be with you
With you
I wanna be with you
I wanna be with you

When the fire burns out
And it's only me an you
Shimmery lights outside
They reflect your eyes
As you say "I love you too"
When the sun comes up
And the snow falls from the roof
I can smile because I spent my
I can smile because I spent my
I can smile because I spent my Christmas with you





 I adore that song!! its by artist vs poet!! I love listening to it when Neal is around <3 i have never been so excited for Christmas!! I cant wait for my family to be around and my boyfriend to be around!! eeekkk!!! :D the past few days have been kinda rough on me i found out some news about my grandma and it made me really sad!! i didn't think it was going to hit me so hard but it really did! I'm so glad i had Neal to calm me down!!! i was fine and didn't cry when i found out but as soon as i talked to him i burst into tears!!! and when i saw him later that day it happened again!! i really do love Neal its crazy that we didn't find this sooner we have talked for almost three years he has been there for me for so much its so crazy!! <3 i am so lucky!!!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

DuMb!~!~!~!~!

OK so i found something that really grinds my gears!! when your "friends" delete you off facebook!! I find this so annoying it makes me want to punch you in the head!! It really bugs me when we don't even get in a fight or anything!! I guess i could see if we got in a fight but we sure didn't so it just makes you look like an idiot!! grrr ok sorry bout that one i had to get it out!! haha

update!!!!!!!!!!

ahhhh i have a boyfriend!!! yes he was the one i was talking about in my last post his name is Neal and he is adorable and so so so sweet!!! he already means so much to me!! it blows my mind how great he is!! he can make me smile no matter what i could be crying and he would make me giggle!! I'm falling so hard and so fast!! eeeekkkk lol he has me so happy i cant even explain it!! he met my parents on Sunday and they really liked him!! i don't think they have ever really liked a guy i date ( although i did date crappy guys) but I'm thrilled they do!!! i also got to meet his parents!! ahhh i was so nervous to meet them but they are so nice!!! i think they like me!! i sure hope so!!! :D ahhhh its CHRISTMAS time!!!! I love shopping for Neal!!!! i already got him three gifts two he is going to adore!!! ahhh i wish i could just put it on here but if for some reason he reads my blog i don't want him to see what it is ha ha but ugh he is going to love it!!!!! I'm so excited!!! For the first time in ever... Ashley likes my boyfriend if that doesn't tell you he is a keeper i don't know what does!! :P i am so thankful for everything this time of year has me so happy and with Neal i am a big ball of Christmas cheer!!! =P ha ha i love him and i couldn't ask for a more amazing guy!! I'm truly such a lucky girl!!!! <3!!!                                                                                                                                            

Saturday, December 3, 2011

ok so i know most of my blog is about guys and pretty much me just bitching.. but its my blog so im gonna! i feel like im starting to like this guy im not saying names but we have been talking forever and honestly he is such a nice guy!! and so friggin cute!!!but here is where it gets rough... i'm so afraid to put myself out there cuz i feel like every time i do it blows up in my face! i have a really hard time with dating i want to be that important someone for someone so bad! i really want to be loved i want someone to be there when i had a bad day or when i think im funny!! i try to take things slow but i've never been the kind of girl to move slow so i am trying my hardest! i hope things work out with this one!

Saturday, November 26, 2011

boys...

Well eff! the day i find price charming seems like a joke i feel like ill never find a guy that will care as much as i do or put himself into it as much as i do! i have a hard time with dating cuz honestly I've never moved slow with it so when they guy wants to move slow i have no idea how the eff to do it im not used to this crap!! i see every one finding the perfect guy and all i can think of is what the hell is wrong with me do i do something wrong i mean seriously Ive been engaged twice... that's not ok!! i mean i do have a guy im crazy about but i don't know how to even start im a mess i mean i am so afraid of being rejected its a joke!!! i don't want to just be left for dead! im sick of being alone! i want someone to call me baby and care about how my day went and do anything to see me even if its just for an hour... i don't want to give up.. i really don't!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

ThAnKfUl

i am so thankful for everyone in my life!! i have so many things to be thankful for!! my family is amazing and i have the best friend a girl could ask for!! First off i want to thank my mom for always being there for me she is such an amazing person i am proud to call her my mom! my dad is pretty fantastic too we might not always get along but i do love him alot!! i am so thankful for my brothers!! they have taught me so much! i was lucky enough to be invited to homo thanksgiving this year and to see all the amazing things that Jesse has done, to give everyone somewhere to go just blows my mind!! he is truly amazing!! and Jake wow he is amazing too!! he has the biggest heart and cares so much i look up to him so much!! i am so blessed to have them as my brothers!! i am thankful for Jamie terry! he is the my brother from another mother ha ha i honestly am thankful to have him as part of my family!! I'm so thankful for amber smith she is my sister she has been there for me always even through the times where i swear my brain just fell out i am so thankful for her!! she has no idea how much i look up to her! amber if you read this you are so amazing in everything you do you truly have helped me with so much in my life!! i love you!! Now is the part that i am getting teary with!! my Ashley... Ashley i cant even begin to tell you how thankful i am for you! you do so much for me some of it i don't even think you realize! you are truly the most amazing person in my eyes you do anything you can to help any one who needs it you blow my mind i cant thank you enough for making me truly think about my engagements and helping me realize how wrong they really were!! you have never judged me and i cant tell you how much that means to me!! when i feel like i have nothing and no one on my side your always there!! you have been there for me for years almost 15 lol I'm so thankful your in my life and i cant thank you enough for all you have done for me!!  my family and friends mean the world to me there are so many more people that have touched and blessed my life!! I'm even thankful for all the bad things Ive been through they made me who i am today and Ive learned so much from it!! so to everyone in my life i love you and I'm thankful or each and every one of you!!!     i almost forgot i am thankful for crossfit no matter how bad it hurts it is changing my life and I'm so ready for it!!!!

Thursday, November 17, 2011

oh GoSh

wow what a week! I've found out a lot of random crap this week mostly that exs are just lots of drama ha ha thank god i have someone who keeps my mind off that with out even trying! =) i have been through a lot in my past with guys but all the bad stuff Ive really learned a lot from so honestly i am thankful for my past, but so looking forward to my future!! I'm looking for a job!! i really want/need one! i have been doing awesome at crossfit and I'm trying so hard just got to keep it up! well I'd love to type forever but its crossfit time woot!!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Me!

So as most of you know I've been trying to loose weight!! It makes me feel so good to go work out and it really is helping!! I'm so ready to be skinny!!! I don't think I'm huge or anything like that but I've always been bigger then the skinny mini girls and honestly it's the one thing that makes me SO insecure!! It's hard being a big girl I don't talk about it much but it's really hard!! It's mostly in my mind but I can't help but think what if I was skinny or what if I looked like that? What would be different would I still have gone for the douche bags I uses to go for? Would I be where I am now? It's been hard growing up bigger I mean getting called fat all the time it sucks there for I'm doing something about it I'm done feeling like I'm not as good as other girls cuz I'm not a size 0 so I'm doing crossfit I'm not sure if you can tell or not but I'm down 13 lbs 25 more to go for me to be thrilled at where I'm at!! :) I know I can do this!! :) time for me to change for the better!!!

Friday, October 14, 2011

my ashley!!





haha sorry ashley i know you read my blog i just needed to blog about you!!! you are the best friend a girl could ask for i would be married and divorced twice if it wasnt for you bringing me back to reality!! you such an amazing person!! honestly your a great influence on me!! thank you for all of the adventures we have even if we don't have friends i still think we are fun!! =)

puppy madness!!!!!!!!!!!!



i have a new baby girl!!! a little lab puppy she is so damn cute!!!! we named her odette!!! like princess odette off of swan princess =P i think she is the cutest thing ever when ever i have a bad day she cuddles with me and i feel all better =) she is amazing!!!!  i love my baby girl!!

HE'S MORE OF A MAN THEN YOU'LL EVER BE AND I'M MORE OF A WOMAN THEN YOU'LL EVER GET!

I'm so friggin bugged its crazy!!! why cant he leave me alone... he is not my thing to take care of anymore!! im over him im moving on to much better things!! i don't want an guy that cant put anything but himself first!! i can do so much better hell i deserve so much better then that!! all he ever did was put me down and make my life hell i am going to get someone so much better!!! =) he is gone im hoping he will move far away i may get my wish haha i sure hope so!! =P i wish nothing bad on him but i do wish he would just leave me the hell alone i put up with way to much of his shit so now that im gone he realizes what he let walk away!!!

I'm so much happier without him i feel great and take every day as it comes!! im doing great looking for a good job and hanging out with my best friend all the time. its nice to feel like i have a life again!! =) im glad i left him and i thank god every freakin day that i don't deal with that shit anymore!!!!! =) ok im done bitching now!! =) sorry for those who read this lol =P

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

well then...

as most of you already know im single yet again!!! yup engagement off! turns out he is just not right for me. nothing against him but im so glad im done with that!! i think the hardest part was leaving his family!! i loved his parents they were so great!!!
   I am so much closer to my family now!! me and my dad actually laugh again!!! its so much fun i love it i have the best family in ever!!! =P
   I feel good about myself again im finding guys that like me and tell me how much fun i am and im back to fun me!!! it feels amazing to have people telling me im pretty!! Im so glad im back to feeling pretty im working out and getting ready even if im not doing anything!!! =)
   My life is changing at first it was really hard to loose jordan cuz i felt like i was loosing everything at once first my dog now my fiance, but im feeling really confident in the fact that i made the right choice not just because he wont leave me alone but im finding i laugh like i used to i have friends like i used to i have my family back!!! I made him my whole world and he made no one else in it!! im glad i was strong enough to get out of it and im so so so thankful for ashley anderson  i don't know what you do lady but when im in a bad spot you can pull me back!! no matter what you are my best friend!!! and thank you to amber smith!! you showed me how bad it really was!! and last but not least a big thanks to my family for putting up with my shit!!! i love you guys so much!!!!! day by day it gets easier and better! i hope nothing but the best for him!! i have no bad feeling towards him! but im so glad im out of it!! on to a guy who can see what i truly am!! =)

Friday, September 16, 2011

My PeRsOn!!!!!!! My BaBy!!!

Most people have another person that they depend on as greys anatomy says your "PERSON" well my persons name was Hayley she was black and had four legs! she has had kidney failure for about two years. she was three and a half when she had to be put to sleep. i cant get myself back into the hang of life without her! For any one who knew Hayley they instantly loved her!! she was the most lovable fun amazing dog in the world!! she could make a day that was the worst turn into the best! she was my world my first child ha ha i took her everywhere! when she was a puppy i stayed home with her all summer! i bounded with her more then I've ever bounded with any one or thing! i told her all my secrets and she never once thought anything bad about me never judged me! i was hands down her favorite!! she would mouth my hand when i walked through the door made me feel so loved!! now i walk in the door and all i feel is empty!! her last week of life i decided to move out on a whim with no where to go and no money you could see her heart breaking when i left i begged her to stay alive cuz i needed her still i balled as i drove away and saw her little brown eyes look at me and pouting on the window seal! well about four days later i got a call saying that they flushed her kidneys again and she was not doing good she was back from the vet and i knew i needed to go home and be there for her like she was always there for me! so i swallowed my pride and came home! she did not get up to see anyone so i got told as soon as i walked in the door she got up and ran over to me and welcomed me like she usually did!! i got her to eat a little too!! then the next day i was gone most the day and i came home to try to feed her a little and i got her to eat five dog treats and we all had hope that she could pull out of this if she would just eat!! that night as i tucked her in on the floor i told her how much i loved her and how important she is to me and how she has taught me so much and got me through so much in my life i told her i loved her as i started to cry and she licked my face as if to say its ok and she will be ok! i kissed her on the head and laid by her for a few minutes then got on my bed and started watching greys anatomy on my laptop around 11:30 that night she started seizing i threw my laptop off my lap and ran down  the hall way into my parents room and yelled Hayley is having a seizure!! as they ran down the hall way to my room i leaned against the wall and cried then gained composure to go and try to talk her out of it. watching her shake like that killed me inside and broke my heart!! it was the most scary thing i have ever seen!!! she seized for about five min which means she prolly would have been brain dead as mom and dad went to go throw clothes on i held her and again told her how much she has changed me and helped me and how much i love her!! and begged her to watch over me always!! my mom and dad rushed her to the vet as i walked back in the door i made it to the chair she always laid in and fell to my knees and just cried!!! i called Jordan crying hysterically!! while we were on the phone my brother Jake and his girlfriend Keisha pulled up i ran out to the front step and felt my knees get all wobbly they felt like jello Jake rushed to me and held me tight and told me it was all going to be alright as i told him the story i remember i kept saying how scary it was and that i didn't know what to do!! we sat there for about twenty minutes when mom and dad walked in and said she didn't make it we all cried!! she was and always will be my best friend i miss her every day some days are harder then others!! but i know she is in a better place! i love you hay and i always will!!





i know some of you may think I'm dumb for this blog because she was just a "DOG" but to me she was everything!!! R.I.P. Hayley may woodcox!!! mama loves and missed you!!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

MY RANDOM LIFE!!!!!

So i have been hanging out with McKayla i love her freakin face she makes me giggle i drove her car it was pretty bomb!! I want a cute fun car like that! Sure hope i get enough hours at work i can get a car haha so my boyfriend plays wow i am thinking about starting to play for those of you who have no idea what wow is ... world of warcraft!! lol if i start playing im pretty sure i wont get out of it!!! ugh so my new job is a little crazy i feel bad cuz they leave me alone to close so a bunch of people have to come help me haha but oh well it will get better!! =)

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh my gosh i did it i got the job!!!!! =) i am now a member of the target team yay!! I'm so excited I'm so ready to start my life pay for my own shiz and get out of my parents house!!!!! =) 2mro is my first real day of work I'm kinda nervous but mostly excited!!! =) well ill let you all know how it goes tomorrow after my super long day i have to wake up early go buy a red shirt get my hair did and go to work at 330 tell like 630 then off to the rodeo!!

Monday, June 13, 2011

RaNdOm!

             so i have these fish that i don't like any more my filter sucked most of them up but the last to wont die and i don't have the heart to flush them down the toilet or give them to the turtle!!! i want to buy a fun new fish but my zebra fish (and yes i bought them for the name!! i have and obsession with zebras!!) are so mean that i can not!!!! I'm kinda bummed for strawberry days!! its going to be kinda lame!! i really want to go to the rodeo!!!! eff!!!!!!!!! ok well i think I'm done blogging tonight! =)

Thursday, June 2, 2011

wow its been a year!!

wow i cant believe its been a year since i graduated!!! i feel old!! i miss it. i miss having friends to hang out with all the time!! i miss being able to be stupid and blame it on that ha ha i miss alot about high school i feel like people expect alot more of me now and that is weird in my mind ha ha!!! i hated the school work part of school but loved all my friends and not going to school!! =P

 Honestly i haven't done a damn thing since school!!! i need to get on with my life and stop being a bum!!! ill get on that soon!! i love graduation day and looking back on it i would change a few things but that was me then so it was fun haha

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

the little sister i never got!!!

MCKAYLA!! I LOVE HER FACE!!!

She is freakin bomb!!!! We always have the best adventures i bet people think we are on drugs ha ha she is so easy to talk to and always knows what to do to make me giggle!!! =) i dated her older brother that's how i got to know her I'm pretty sure i liked her alot more =P ha ha!! she just gets me and i get her we are so much alike!!! i know she is not my real sister but she was the hardest part of leaving that relationship i thought i was going to loose her!!! but i didn't ha ha cuz she loves me!!!!!!!! :D so i really do feel like she is my sister cuz i can tell her anything and i know that their is no judgement!! she is there when ever i need her as am i for her!!! mckayla i love your face and I'm so thankful for all you do for me you are a great sister and an amazing friend!!!!!!!!!!


one of the many adventures hahahaha!!!!


i sure do love my mmk moments!!!!! =)

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

I'm not 12!

I am the baby and the only girl of my family! I have to be home by ten still! I'm 18 almost 19 i find that sad i feel like i have no freedom!! i mean i love my parents and i am so thankful for all that they do for me!! i just wish they would see me as an adult and let me live a little! maybe if i get this job they will see me as an adult i don't know but it bugs me when they see me as a little girl still!!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

family!! =)


i have a freakin amazing daddy!!! he is such a good dad im glad he is mine! =) 
im pretty sure im the kid that put him through the most shit haha but im totally his favorite!! =)

this is my mom!!! =) she is like my best friend when its just us we both turn into teenagers haha
she is so good to me! she takes in all my friends like they are her own she is so much more then i could ask for!!! mom your the best!!! =)

my brothers!!! jesse on the left and jake on the right!!! they are so freakin amazing!!!! i don't say it much but i love them!!! im so thankful for all they do!!! =)
 
Jamie, Jesse, Brandon and Amber!
i love all these people they are pretty much family!!! =)

this is Keisha!
she is jakes girl friend she is pretty much the bomb!! =)

lol this is my ashley she is the sister i never got!!! we have been friends for 15 years i love her face!! =)





I'm no good without sleep!!!

so last night Ashley and i decide it would be fun to have a sleep over then wake up at 5:30! BAD IDEA!!!! We watched netflix like all night it was freakin fun then we needed ice cream in our life.. but cold stone was closed.. so we found jcw im pretty sure the people on the drive through thought we were on crack!!! We were so hyper it was crazy!! we would laugh at nothing at all it was crazy!! i love my Ashley time!! =)

Monday, May 23, 2011

this is my baby!!!! her name is hayley she is almost three!! =) and she is the best thing ever!!

oh hell!

... so i made this blog i don't know how to do a blog so i guess this will be a new adventure maybe it will be like my new facebook haha who knows!! first off i'm sorry my spelling and grammar!! so if you don't like it don't read my blog!! =P haha i don't even think anyone will want to read it but if you do yay thanks haha!! well that is all for now!! =)