boys...

Well eff! the day i find price charming seems like a joke i feel like ill never find a guy that will care as much as i do or put himself into it as much as i do! i have a hard time with dating cuz honestly I've never moved slow with it so when they guy wants to move slow i have no idea how the eff to do it im not used to this crap!! i see every one finding the perfect guy and all i can think of is what the hell is wrong with me do i do something wrong i mean seriously Ive been engaged twice... that's not ok!! i mean i do have a guy im crazy about but i don't know how to even start im a mess i mean i am so afraid of being rejected its a joke!!! i don't want to just be left for dead! im sick of being alone! i want someone to call me baby and care about how my day went and do anything to see me even if its just for an hour... i don't want to give up.. i really don't!

ThAnKfUl

i am so thankful for everyone in my life!! i have so many things to be thankful for!! my family is amazing and i have the best friend a girl could ask for!! First off i want to thank my mom for always being there for me she is such an amazing person i am proud to call her my mom! my dad is pretty fantastic too we might not always get along but i do love him alot!! i am so thankful for my brothers!! they have taught me so much! i was lucky enough to be invited to homo thanksgiving this year and to see all the amazing things that Jesse has done, to give everyone somewhere to go just blows my mind!! he is truly amazing!! and Jake wow he is amazing too!! he has the biggest heart and cares so much i look up to him so much!! i am so blessed to have them as my brothers!! i am thankful for Jamie terry! he is the my brother from another mother ha ha i honestly am thankful to have him as part of my family!! I'm so thankful for amber smith she is my sister she has been there for me always even through the times where i swear my brain just fell out i am so thankful for her!! she has no idea how much i look up to her! amber if you read this you are so amazing in everything you do you truly have helped me with so much in my life!! i love you!! Now is the part that i am getting teary with!! my Ashley... Ashley i cant even begin to tell you how thankful i am for you! you do so much for me some of it i don't even think you realize! you are truly the most amazing person in my eyes you do anything you can to help any one who needs it you blow my mind i cant thank you enough for making me truly think about my engagements and helping me realize how wrong they really were!! you have never judged me and i cant tell you how much that means to me!! when i feel like i have nothing and no one on my side your always there!! you have been there for me for years almost 15 lol I'm so thankful your in my life and i cant thank you enough for all you have done for me!!  my family and friends mean the world to me there are so many more people that have touched and blessed my life!! I'm even thankful for all the bad things Ive been through they made me who i am today and Ive learned so much from it!! so to everyone in my life i love you and I'm thankful or each and every one of you!!!     i almost forgot i am thankful for crossfit no matter how bad it hurts it is changing my life and I'm so ready for it!!!!

oh GoSh

wow what a week! I've found out a lot of random crap this week mostly that exs are just lots of drama ha ha thank god i have someone who keeps my mind off that with out even trying! =) i have been through a lot in my past with guys but all the bad stuff Ive really learned a lot from so honestly i am thankful for my past, but so looking forward to my future!! I'm looking for a job!! i really want/need one! i have been doing awesome at crossfit and I'm trying so hard just got to keep it up! well I'd love to type forever but its crossfit time woot!!