my poor baby!

my poor puppy had a bump on her bum last week i noticed it on Wednesday night and called the vet first thing on Thursday morning so we took her in and she had one of her anal sacs rupture (gross i know) she was in a lot of pain (it only burst at the vet) after the vet left the room i cried a lot first off that vet office always brings back rough memories. second off kaci is my baby!!! neal and i got her when we were dating and she has been our lil baby ever since!! she is on antibiotics and pain meds for a week and that should fix it i am glad she is ok! she has been really sleepy and a little out of it because of the meds but is feeling a lot better!! ok sorry for the rant about my dog!!

yay

yay gay marriage is legal in utah and four other states!!!! wahooo!!!! we all knew this was going to happen! i am so overjoyed by this i am so excited for everyone to have what neal and i have... a chance to be married and do all the things married people do!!i am sure everyone will have their own opinion im just hoping everyone can stay nice!! including myself!!

the joys of being a stepmom

so sometimes being a step mom is really hard!! lately i have been having a really hard time with it!! so neals family has been doing this new thing where if anyone says anything about sage looking like me the freak out and say no no no she looks like neals sister.... it hits me a lot more then it should!!! is it so bad for her to look like me?!?!?! i am well aware that i am not her birth mom. do they really need to remind me so often... they have no idea what i go through day to day with having a little girl but not really having one.. its hard as fuck!!! they have no idea how much i cry because she is not mine and i have to share too!!! it drives me insane that they cant just say that she looks like neal instead of his sister!! his sister didn't have sex with the baby mama he did... i am so sick of them bringing up that they are the "blood grandparents"... i honestly don't understand how they don't see that as a slap in the face to me, and honestly my parents were the first people to know other then my best friend. they were the ones that moved their entire house upside down so this little baby had somewhere to stay with both parents so we could take this head on together from the very first night!! they were the ones that bought (and most the time still do) all of the things we needed for her!! saying that they are not blood is fucking stupid!! if they want to talk about blood then why do they treat there own son they way that they do. he asked them simply to not be friends with sages mom on face book (a simple request right?!) well we have had to have that talk twice now... its so frustrating to me for a family that feels like blood is so damn important they sure don't show it!! i am at a loss here! they don't understand what it is like for neal and i... hopefully with time!!

this has been and extreme learning experience for me! i never thought i would be a step mom in fact i always told myself i would never even date a guy who had kids because i didn't think i would be strong enough for it.. well guess what i am!! i am strong i am a step mom... i am a mom!! i have lost friends because of it but oh well i am happy i have a little lady that i adore and who adores me and a husband that is so amazing by my side!! i have it all! like it or not sage does look like me a little i think its funny and makes me feel a little like i am a parent.. i wish people would stop trying to take that away from me... you are just making me, my hubby and my future kids go farther and farther away from you!