wow ok so i think we all know how much i suck at blogging!!!!! but i am getting married really soon and i am so excited i cant even stand it!!!!! we have 33 days left!!!!! ahhhhh!!!!!!!! we have been running around like crazy so this is going to be short and sweet just wanted you all to know how excited i am to marry the man of my dreams!!!! and on a side note my bffl is coming home in 27 days!!!!! ahhhhh

thankful for .....

happy thanksgiving!!!!!!!! so i do this every year i feel the need to blog about all the things i am thankful for!!

1st im going to start off with how thankful i am for neal he is so amazing we have almost been dating a year!!!! ahh so exciting and ive known him for almost five years so crazy!!!!! i love him so much and i have no idea what i would do without this amazing man by my side!!!!

2nd thing im thankful for is our beautiful baby girl sage!!! she was unexpected but she is amazing and we love her so much!!!! 

3rd im so freakin thankful for my amazing family!!!!!! all of you guys are amazing!!!!!!!!!!!  i love you all so much and look up to every single on of you!!!!!!

4th im so thankful for ashley dude i have no clue what id do without you!!!!!! you are my best friend for live!!!! you have done so much for me i could never thank you enough for all that you do!!!!!!

5th i am so thankful for neals family im so glad i am welcomed in i love you guys!!!!!

6th im thankful for all the mistakes Ive made!!! i have learned something from each and every one of them!!!! with all that Ive learned i also think they have made me what i am today!!!!

i am so thankful for my family and friends!!! i love you all so much!!!!!!

new news!!!

so this month i have gotten some news that at first was really hard to think about!! but i think it is settled with me now and now im excited!!! haha i bet your all thinking im pregnant hahaha nope no baby in my belly!!! but it does have to do with a baby!!! about a month ago one a Wednesday neal got a call from someone he used to date she said i need to talk to you so he went and talked to her and she told him that she had a kid. time added up when they were together.. so he came to my house and told me the news. At first i broke down and couldn't stop crying... i asked him where that left us and he said " sam we are still getting married you are the woman i want to spend the rest of my life with" so of course i cried more!!!! the thought kept rolling into my head of him being with someone else and the thought of him holding his baby that i didn't have a part of making.. it hurt... but after about an hour of crying i started laughing uncontrollably he asked what was so funny and i told him we could totally be on the maury show!!!! ( i've always wanted to be on that show cuz i think its really funny!!!) he then started laughing too!!! then he asked if i was mad so i told him the truth "im sad but not mad it was your past i cant be mad at something in your past"!! we both told each other how much we love each other and hugged for a long time!!! we got him in for a paternity  test and waited about two weeks for the results they came back and sure enough neal has a little girl!! we got to meet her on friday she is adorable!!!! neal and i are together in this!!! i am proud to be a stepmom and i love neal with my whole heart!!! i know we can get though this together i am so thankful for neal and i am excited for the challenges that are going to be down the road. no matter what its neal and i forever!!! i love my fiance!!! i cant wait to marry him!!! <3

sage 4 months old

so i have been looking for a new job for what feels like forever!!! the search is over!! i am now a teachers aide for a kindergarten class for a school in American Fork!!!!! im so excited!!! i think this will be a job that im great and and one that i'll love!!! what im even more excited for is that this will help me and neal be able to get to our goals faster!!! im hoping we can either move up our wedding date up or at least get an apartment and move out sooner!!!!! yay for a job!!!! im so thankful that i have a man in my life that supports me in everything i do!! i love him with all of my heart!!!!! he is my best friend and i cant wait to marry him!!!!!

R.I.P. hayhay

today it has been one year since i lost my little life saver hayley!!

she saved me countless times!!! im so thankful that i had her in my life!! today has been pretty hard to think about a year ago tonight she started seizing on my floor i was so scared!!! i remember jake (my brother) coming to my rescue and telling me it was going to be ok and all i could say was 'i was so scared i didn't know what to do' i remember seeing the life fade out of her adorable brown eyes... when mom and dad went to get clothes and shoes on they told me to stay with her so i held her and told her thank you for all that she did for me with out her i have no idea where my life would be now.. honestly i think i would be hooked on hard drugs without a family and in a really dark place!! thanks to hazerbeebum i am home with my loving family the most amazing man by my side and getting married in april!!! life has changed for the better and i really do think hayley had everything to do with that so thank haybay miss and love you hope heaven is great!!! <3

im engaged!!!!!!

ahhh sorry this is a little late but neal proposed!!!!!!! he asked me on my birthday it was amazing as a little girl i used to dream about getting asked on my birthday so it was perfect!!! we had some problems with the ring so we took the first one back and went to Zales and found an amazing ring i love it!!!!!!! im so excited to marry neal and spend the rest of my life with him!!!!! <3

this was the first ring....

this is the new ring!!

 i might have got my dog boots... =P

i just wrote a really not so happy blog so i want to say how much i love neal stokes he is the best thing thats ever happened to me he always knows just what to say to make me feel so much better! i have no idea what i would do without him!!! i cant wait to spend forever with him!!!! baby you me together forever!!! im so blessed to have you by my side!!! i love you so much!